ME: (Tries to work)
MY BRAIN: The world needs more Sympathy Orchestras.
ME: Um, I think you mean Symphony.
MY BRAIN: Just imagine, Tchaikovsky’s Symphony 6 3/4 in B Minor – “Really Pathetique.”
MY BRAIN: You could do a whole season around “Baroque – And We Can’t Fix It.”
ME: Do you have ANY IDEA how much e-mail we have to get through?
MY BRAIN: Suddenly, a bloodless coup in the string section. They are all playing the world’s tiniest violins!
ME: I need to stop feeding you animal protein.
MY BRAIN: It is too late. They have become sarcastic and insidious.
ME: And they start playing… ?
MY BRAIN: Copland’s Fanfare for the Caustic Man.
ME: Of course they do.