ME: (Tries to work)

MY BRAIN: Clothes dryers promote terrorism.

ME: ?

MY BRAIN: IT IS YOUR PATRIOTIC DUTY TO USE THE LAUNDRY LINE.

ME: You know, I let you play on Twitter to avoid this kind of shit.

MY BRAIN: It just came to me. Cling Free…

ME: Yes.. ?

MY BRAIN: It has THOUSANDS of softness cells.

ME: Are you stuck in 1977 again?

MY BRAIN: THOUSANDS.

ME: It’s not that kind of cell —

MY BRAIN: They could be planning ANYTHING.

ME: Probably to steal my socks.

MY BRAIN: WE MUST WARN THE PRESIDENT.

ME: He’s good. He’s got the NSA.

MY BRAIN: Which stands for .. No Softness Allowed.

ME: …

MY BRAIN: I understand everything now.

If you don’t get the reference, YouTube can help. I don’t remember what I had for dinner last night, but I can remember TV commercials from the late 70s.