Too Sexy for My Shirt

ME: (Tries to work)

MY BRAIN: I’m concerned I might be too sexy for my shirt.

ME: ?

MY BRAIN: The song says if you become too sexy it actually hurts. Do you think there’s some kind of rapidly-applied censure, or is there an allergen involved?

ME: You’re a middle-aged, overweight woman. The only item of clothing you may possibly be too sexy for is a Mrs. Roper muumuu.

MY BRAIN: The song is inappropriately ambiguous and I’m uncomfortable. I could conceive of being accidentally too sexy for one of those slimy cheap polyblends.

ME: Seriously, trust me, you have no –

MY BRAIN: Of course I concede that I would never be too sexy for 100% cotton.

ME: …

MY BRAIN: I know my limitations.

ME: Okay, you can wear your Benderbrau shirt, which you can easily admit you will never be too sexy for.


ME: Fine. (Tries to get back to work.)

MY BRAIN: … I just worry.

ME: I get that.

What does YOUR brain say?

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