ME: (Tries to work)
MY BRAIN: I’m concerned I might be too sexy for my shirt.
MY BRAIN: The song says if you become too sexy it actually hurts. Do you think there’s some kind of rapidly-applied censure, or is there an allergen involved?
ME: You’re a middle-aged, overweight woman. The only item of clothing you may possibly be too sexy for is a Mrs. Roper muumuu.
MY BRAIN: The song is inappropriately ambiguous and I’m uncomfortable. I could conceive of being accidentally too sexy for one of those slimy cheap polyblends.
ME: Seriously, trust me, you have no –
MY BRAIN: Of course I concede that I would never be too sexy for 100% cotton.
MY BRAIN: I know my limitations.
ME: Okay, you can wear your Benderbrau shirt, which you can easily admit you will never be too sexy for.
MY BRAIN: Fine.
ME: Fine. (Tries to get back to work.)
MY BRAIN: … I just worry.
ME: I get that.