Dancing Machine

ME: (Tries to work)

MY BRAIN: So I understand she’s a dancing machine.

ME: ?

MY BRAIN: Ah baby.

ME: Oh. Yes. I mean, I don’t have empirical evidence, but it is my understanding that she is a dancing machine.

MY BRAIN: What kind?

ME: What?

MY BRAIN: What kind of machine?

ME: I don’t believe it’s that specific. I think the song just kind of makes the general assertion that she dances so much she’s a machine.

MY BRAIN: Quite the contrary – there is a very exact set of characteristics. She’s automatic, systematic, full of color, self contained…

ME: Tuned and channeled to your vibes. Isn’t there something in there about being a sexy lady?

MY BRAIN: Yes, but that’s in reference to her organic context. So we’re not counting it. Built with space age design.

ME: That does appear to be fairly exact.

MY BRAIN: Which is why I figured it out.

ME: You figured it out?

MY BRAIN: Yes. She’s a TiVo.

ME: A TiVo.

MY BRAIN: Yes. Think about it. Automatic, systematic, full of color, self contained. She’s a dancing TiVo.

ME: …

MY BRAIN: Ah baby.

ME: They didn’t even have TiVos back then.

MY BRAIN: If they didn’t have any TiVos why did the Jackson Five do a song about them?

ME: You are making some assumptions.

MY BRAIN: They were probably really impressed with it and they wrote a song about it, but they didn’t want to run into intellectual property issues. So they just said she was a dancing machine.

ME: So why did they turn it into a dancing woman?

MY BRAIN: Because it was the 1970s, and it was disco, and no matter how many poppers you do, you’re not going to dance to a song called, “It’s a completely stationary black box.”

ME: Point taken.

MY BRAIN: The Jackson family must have really loved TiVos to have one of their kids named after it. Tivo Jackson.

ME: That’s Tito.

MY BRAIN: Well, it’d have to be, wouldn’t it?

Watch the Jackson 5 Get Down. Ah Baby.

3 thoughts on “Dancing Machine

  1. First time here. From reading Research Buzz for quite a while, I could tell that you were very clever and funny in a subtle way–entertaining enough and informative enough to keep reading the blog and clicking on the interesting links. In this blog I can tell that you have a many widespread interests, are pretty good at trivia, and are able to invoke many allusions to pop culture. Definitely a humanities major. I am amazed, however, that you can call up these references at the same time you are “working.” Multi-tasker supreme.

  2. ME: (Not even trying to work)

    Brain: This woman is my new hero, and I wonder how she remembers what her brain is actually thinking when she is trying to work, unless of course she is really NOT working and jotting down what her brain is saying as it is saying it.

    Me: What’s your point?

    Brain: There is none.

  3. My brain also goes bonkers when I’m bored…so now I have a new place to distract it–this blog–in addition to FB, LI, YT, T, G+, etc….Since I mainly write, edit and pontificate, I normally don’t want to write when I’m bored–though I will comment on ridiculous health story headlines and other things I find in various feeds. That allows me to pseudo-connect to others while providing a release for aggression (why I have incredibly difficult weight-training sessions 3x/wk in the middle of the day–another way to distract my brain). Thanks for sharing! I’ve enjoyed ResearchBuzz for years.

What does YOUR brain say?

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