Sea Monster Boyfriend

ME: (Tries to work)

MY BRAIN: So lady, let me take a look at you now.

ME: ?

MY BRAIN: You’re there on the dance floor making me want you somehow.

ME: Are you stuck in the 70s again?

MY BRAIN: I’m confused by that song. It makes no sense.

ME: In the first place, it’s a pop song and there’s nothing anywhere that says pop songs must make sense. In the second place, it’s from the 1970s so that goes double.

MY BRAIN: If you look at it one way, he’s looking at her on the dance floor trying to figure out how he can get her, which implies that she’s attractive. If you look at it the other way, he’s looking at her trying to figure out what she’s doing to force him to want her, which implies that she is a sea monster.

ME: What is it with you and the sea monsters?

MY BRAIN: I just like them.

ME: Oh. At any rate, if you’ll look at the rest of the song I think you can infer by context that she is attractive.

MY BRAIN: Nope, I think it’s a case of him trying to convince himself.

ME: What?

MY BRAIN: I think she is actually a sea monster, who has come from the depths to stalk everybody in the 1970s until she finds the one man she will enchant. And that’s the guy who wrote the song.

ME: Uh-huh.

MY BRAIN: And I think he realizes this on some level, so he’s trying to convice himself that he loves her so it’s bearable when she drags him away into the ocean to be her SEA MONSTER BOYFRIEND.

ME: Sea monster boyfriend.


ME: Well, considering the amount of drugs people did in the 70s I suppose it’s possible that someone thought that was happening.

MY BRAIN: I’m always right.

ME: Of course, now I’m going to spend the rest of the day thinking about disco dancing sea monsters.

MY BRAIN. Mission accomplished.