The Good Ship

ME: (Tries to work)

MY BRAIN: They said it was a good ship.

ME: ?

MY BRAIN: The good ship Bounty.

ME: Yes. In the book it was the good ship HMS Bounty.

MY BRAIN: I call bullshit.

ME: Why?

MY BRAIN: Because who said they were good? What about anybody they shot a cannon at? Good is too subjective. We need qualifiers.

ME: Okayyyyy…

MY BRAIN: “The Good Ship, Though You’re Welcome to Have a Different Opinion and We Want to Be Inclusive, HMS Bounty.”

ME: That wouldn’t fit on the side.

MY BRAIN: Fine. You can do it in initials. The Good Ship TURIW HMS Bounty.

ME: TU –

MY BRAIN: Though Upon Reflection I Worry. The Good Ship ETOT HMS Bounty.

ME: And that means… ?

MY BRAIN: Except That One Time.

ME: What one time?

MY BRAIN: I don’t want to talk about it.

ME: …

MY BRAIN: At least I don’t need any of that. I am just The Good Brain, Brain.

ME: How come “good” is too subjective for a ship but just fine for you?

MY BRAIN: First, I don’t have cannon. Second, could any brain but a good one be this interesting?